kt40

Becoming a mom

Yesterday morning I was sitting on the couch eating bon bons, drinking a cocktail and watching T.V. the usual stay-at-home mom stuff.... I wish.....actually I was cleaning the kitchen when the phone rang. I ran to pick it up, we have one phone jack in this house and it is in a little room at the back of our house. It was Jasmine and when I said "Hello?" I heard "Mom?" and could tell if I didn't answer quickly she would start crying.
"Are you okay?" I said.
"Can you come get me Mom, I don't feel well."
"Yes I'll be right there." I hung up the phone and searched for my keys.
My kids never really call home so when they do I know that they are bad off. So yes I drove a little faster than normal, the school is only five blocks away so it must of seemed dramatic to my neighbors, who I kid you not are always spying on me. When I arrived at the school I had to speak to five different adults about getting Jasmine, my Italian started out great with the first adult but by the fifth one I was reduced to "Me here daughter bad" Then I saw Jazz at the end of the hallway and she looked so small and she was trying not to look at me and when she got closer and I said "Are you okay?" and she started crying, something that happened to me when I needed my parents and they would show up for me, a response that can still be triggered in me when I need them and they are there. I was the Mom now and I had to hug and console her and bring her home and tuck her in bed and even give her some ginger-ale like my dad used to give me. I was the mom who closed her door quietly, and walked back to the kitchen happy, knowing that she was okay.

Self-pity morning, this last Sunday

Today I was having one of those self-pity mornings. When I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth I couldn't help but notice that my hair didn't even fit in the mirror (I am growing my hair out right now which means it is growing outwards).

Went to put some face cream on, didn't the label say guaranteed results in two weeks, then I smiled a coupled of times at myself in the mirror, these wrinkles are good I told myself..... aren't they?

Went to get some jeans on, too tight around the stomach better pull out the old standbys, the ones that all the fashion experts warn you about "The instant butt enlargers and shorten your length of your legs by half jeans", they of course fit just fine. Decided to go out on a walk so as not to spread my mood onto my unsuspecting family.

Had to wear completely dorky sunglasses(the sides actually look like lightning bolts) because I lost the pair that I liked, that I paid, for the first time in my life, some hard earned cash on, sunglasses. Now I have these "Insane last pair on the rack sunglasses" that I brought at a gas station because I didn't feel justified dulling out more money on another good pair.

As I was walking, I thought about how I needed a flashing neon sign above my head saying "Middle-age woman feeling very middle-aged today." I went to kick a stone.....and missed.....arrrgh!!!.......

Then I decided to let my dorky sunglasses work as a headband and pull back my crazy hair. I looked around and I couldn't help but soak in the beauty, really I couldn't and I couldn't believe that I lived here, thought about my family back at the house, waking up and getting ready to enjoy the day together, this all made me smile, then an older man walk by me and said "Ciao Bella", I wonder if he knew that he was the icing on the cake.

Inspire Me Thursday "Halloween"

Originally uploaded by kt40
This week theme for Inspire Me Thursday is Halloween.

Halloween has never been a scary or spooky holiday for me. Instead it has been about dressing up as who I wanted to be (lots of gypsy costumes). So I couldn't approach this weeks theme with anything frightening. I took this photo of this flower shop's display window for the silly pumpkin in the window who was surrounded by flowers. I have three kids that have started the count down, the youngest has been laying her costume down at the end of her bed each night and the older two have been discussing possible candy trades already, we have the pumpkins lined up outside and paper skeletons and bats covering the windows, we are ready.

Happy Halloween Everyone!!!!

If you clicked here from Inspire Me Thursday then you can click here for a view of shop from across the street....otherwise just scroll down below.

**You can click on any of my photos for a larger view.

Across the street from a flower shop

 

 

 

 

 

Originally uploaded by kt40

 

I love the flowers all lined up under the display window cheering up the gray walls.

Hooked on haystacks

Originally uploaded by kt40

I don't remember who first pointed out haystacks to me but after that I couldn't be on a drive with my family without shouting out to everyone "Look haystacks!" and then looking back out the car window with a goofy smile on my face. Then I became a teenager and I was too sophisticated to yell out "Haystacks!" so instead I would say it to myself in my head and hope that one of my younger siblings would notice them and shout it out for me so I could respond nonchalantly "Oh yes, haystacks."
The other day we were driving and there they were, so I turned back to my kids and said "Look haystacks!" to which my thirteen and eleven year old kids replied "That's real neat Mom" each word dripping with sarcasm but my eight year old said earnestly "Where..where?". I glanced over at Jason who was quietly driving, one hand on the wheel the other resting on the stick shift, I reached over and touched his hand and he in return decided to rest his hand in mine which made me turn and look out the window with a goofy smile on my face.

Love think about it

Yesterday it rained all day and today it has been on and off. I still had to go out and run errands and when I did I noticed some small things, like the fact that everyone seems to have umbrellas next to their doors ready to go and the graffiti up above "Love think about it" I can do that.

Originally uploaded by kt40

Combinations

Originally uploaded by kt40

The stress dream, that I luckily don't have anymore, was when I was in JR high school and I can't remember my numbers to open up the combination lock on my locker, and while I am trying to remember everyone around me has their combinations all figured out and are heading off to class while I stand there in my new pair of riding-gear jeans feeling like I'm on a sinking boat (if you don't know what riding-gear jeans are consider yourself very lucky that you missed out on that fashion trend). Maybe if I had owned this statue (which resides in my Mom's garden) and I had placed it on the top shelf of my locker I might have not been such a stress case actually I probably would have had to lug it around in my backpack for that to have worked and that would have been awkward in more ways than one. I have not really gotten to the real point of this post today which is to say I am combining my two blogs, mixing things up a bit and I am not stressed out about taking on all this computer lingo because now that I am older and wiser I live in a constant zen-like state of mind, really I do, and if I was Pinocchio, my nose would be touching my computer screen right now.

Pirates

Originally uploaded by kt40

This morning I have been busy with household chores. I didn't wash the dishes last night just left them all sitting in the sink. Getting into bed and reading about pirates was much more appealing. I have this quirk where I get a little obsessed with a subject, right now it is pirates, don't ask me why. I just happened to see a Time-Life book on the library shelf and thought "hum...this looks interesting" now it is a week later and there is a pile of books about pirates next to my bed. This habit of mine always makes Jason smile because in about three weeks from now he'll say to me "Remember your pirate phase?" and he'll leave out the "that was kind-of weird" and instead, imply this with a look, which will make me laugh. I realized I have passed this quirk down to my kids, Wyatt has been following me around the house talking about ipods nonstop "Did you know the third generation Nano ipod has the capabilities to ......" "I can load trailers onto my ipod".....etc.."ipods"..etc....." Whereas my response is "Oh yeah, did you know that pirates used to hold mock trials for fun and then forget that they were play acting and the whole thing would get seriously out of control."

What is in front of me

There is a cliche that goes something like this "When one door closes another one opens". I know, I know...but it has truth. I am lucky to have such good friends and family that have always encouraged me and inspired me. I have realized that I want to continue this blog, and doing it without putting my family on it will be different but seems right. I have been a stay at home mom for 13 years now, and I think quite honestly, it is hard for me to separate myself from my job so to speak. Believe me there have been plenty of times I have wanted to do this; get in the car, step on the gas and look in my rear view mirror at my house and scream out "See you later suckers!!" as I peel out of the driveway but these were just passing thoughts (that trust me, can still come and go). I will always stay at my "job", it is just time for me to also do some stepping out on my own. My friend Suz was saying that she takes change on as a challenge. She said some other wise things too, thanks Suz, my stepfather sent some encouraging words, thanks Mark and I received a beautiful card from my stepmother showing and sharing her creativity, thanks Amy, I could go on and on thanking all the friends and family who have said such positive comments about this "blog adventure" I am on. With this is mind it has made me decide to make the leap and keep on taking photos and writing on this blog because I realize how much I enjoy doing it and yes I can do it solo .

Trying to lighten-up the following post

Originally uploaded by kt40

It has been brought to my attention that my following post made some people go "Hey what is going on?" So let me start this out with saying it wasn't meant to throw anyone, that I am simply making a change on my blog, taking my family photos off, something I have gone back and forth about since I started this blog. I want you all to know that it is a decision that feels good and right to me. I know when I started this blog I told everyone I am learning as I go because this whole "Blog" Internet option is all new to me. With that said, the following is a long winded post I wrote the other day trying to explain my reason for this change I have gone back and edited it . Sorry if I threw any of you off the other day that wasn't my intent at all. Katy

A change

Originally uploaded by kt40

Here it goes; When I started this blog it was for family and close friends to catch a glimpse of our lives here. Since we live so far away I thought this would be an easy way for them to check out what was going on with us at their convenience. I had one good friend tell me she felt like she was having a cup of coffee with me while catching up, exactly my intention.

Well I know it was naive to think it would always stay that way because of the format I chose, a public blog. (I have been informed today you can make blogs private something I wasn't aware of, like I have said this is a learning process for me).
Anyways, blogs seem to have a life of their own anyone can stumble upon them(reason #1 of why I like them). I have been lucky enough to stumble upon some blogs that I read daily, some are other mother's journals.

Back to this blog, I told Jason when I started this it would be just for family and close friends because we were both, as most people are, concerned about putting our family out there on the web. Well this blog has seemed to taken on a life of it own meaning people I have never met have clicked on to it and let me reassure everyone it has all been very very positive,(reason #2 of why I like blogs so much) but with that said, it has also made me come to a decision to deleted my family photos from this blog. I just don't feel comfortable with putting my family on anymore, like this man in the photo, I looked up from the busy city street and there he was looking out his window, he seemed exposed to me, without really knowing it, I can't put my family in that window.

I hope you all can understand this, sorry if this seems dramatic I don't mean for it to come across that way. I am just going to think about how to change this blog, because it is public and part of me likes that it has reached out to other people and they get a little something from it. Hope this all makes sense.
Katy

**Just so you know, I have saved all the old photos along with the very special comments from everyone. I still plan to print it out for my family sometime in the distant future.

Me and my small shadow

Originally uploaded by kt40

My family needs a break from the wife/mom with a camera in her hand. I was walking Cubana today trying to think of how I could start taking photos of them again without hearing "Not again!" Then I noticed my faithful small shadow. "It is going to be just us on the blog today." I said to her. What would I do without my little shadow.

Ready and waiting

Originally uploaded by kt40

I have read my share of gardening books, a subject I never get tired of. Each time I am a sucker for the photos of empty pots in the potting shed. I'm not sure what it is about them exactly, the endless possibilities I suppose.

Morning stroll

Originally uploaded by kt40

This morning my friend Anna took me to a botanical garden in the middle of the city. I love these type of gardens where you step away from the noise and hustle bustle of the city into the silence of a garden. It was a great way to start the morning. I wanted to share some of the photos and hope that this weekend you can find some time to relax even if it is standing under a tree in your backyard for five minutes or if you don't have a tree just taking a walk in a park. It is free after-all, we can afford to spend that much on ourselves can't we.

Pond life

 

Originally uploaded by kt40

The pond at this garden was the kind where you could sit and watch the fish swim by and not be aware of the passing of time.

Pots in a window

 

Originally uploaded by kt40
This greenhouse window reminds of three greenhouses that were near my house where I grew up. The florist shop they belonged to ended up closing down and as time went by the greenhouses were slowly worn down with their share of broken windows. I told myself I would buy them when I was old enough, I must have been eleven or so, and fix them up again and maybe live in them or start a restaurant. I don't think I ever told anyone that, maybe just the greenhouses as I walked by them on my way to school each day.

 

 

 

 

I decide to add what my restaurant idea was, I didn't write it in the original post because I thought it was , well I'm not sure what I thought it was really, so here it is; I did think I would buy these greenhouses and if I ended up making them into restaurants I would line the ceilings with white Christmas lights and they would only be open at night. The customers would be very dressed up and the tables small and intimate, all my thoughts were very romantic and magical, meaning, actual food being served hadn't even enter the equation or me working for that matter. I think instead I was the eleven year old sitting at the corner table with her chin resting on her hands enjoying her daydream.

Along the river

Originally uploaded by kt40

I have been noticing and enjoying all the fall pictures on other people's blogs. I do feel lucky to live somewhere with the four seasons, and fall, beautiful fall, with the crisp air and the changing colors. I took the kids shopping for scarves and hats (something we do every fall) the other day and it was fun see the new and ever-changing personalities each new fall brings out in them. Each chose something that suited them. I will post photos of them "Decked-out" sometime in the future, but for now, I leave (I see a bad pun here) you my fall photo.

Bird sitting on a bird’s head (Inspire Me Thursday, birds)

Originally uploaded by kt40

This morning, Thursday, I was walking my dog along the river banks and kept looking across and seeing birds. This one looked like it was sitting on a bird's head to me (due to the reflection of the branch in the water) then I noticed the foliage behind it looked like large feathers. Strange morning for just a few feet ahead I glanced over and saw another scenario. I suppose we when decide to think of something there it is as it always was, right in front of us.

Bird with it’s wings spread(Inspire Me Thursday, birds 2)

Originally uploaded by kt40

This image might be a little harder to find. There is the real white bird up in the tree moving it's wings. Then the white branch to the left of it (again due to the reflection it was making in the water), looked to me, like the top view of a bird flying with it's wings spread out.

Outside restuarant window

Originally uploaded by kt40

Had an excellent lunch here with my kids and friend Suzanne and her little one. We pretty much had the upstairs to ourselves, with techno music, Italian cuisine and wine. Funky combination but it worked for me.

Big slabs of cheese

Originally uploaded by kt40

This photo is for my friend Liz, who loves her cheese. I know if she was here she would be standing in this line. I also think I could twist her arm to join me for a drink at this bar (see photo above).

Morning bird

Originally uploaded by kt40

I have no idea what kind of bird this was, just caught it drying off it's wing in the morning sun.

Greens

Originally uploaded by kt40

My kids like to ask me "What is you favorite color?" It is green. I love how many incredible shades there are of it. I read this interview once it was with a landscape painter who said, a little frustrated with the person interviewing him ,"Do you know how hard it is to replicate all the different shades of green in nature?!"(I don't know why but that always makes me laugh) When I was little my favorite color was purple, at that same age when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up I answered "I don't care as long as I have a pick-up truck with a purple motorcycle in back". Now if asked, green, still don't really care much, this stay at home mom gig is suiting me just fine right now, but I don't need the truck or motorcycle anymore.

**note Wyatt's favorite color: Blue Jazz: Blue Iris: Gray (but her favorite changes weekly) Jason I think is green too, but I have to ask.

Walking among the ruins

Originally uploaded by kt40

It is still hard for me to get use to my scenery, to not feel transported in time, feel like I should be horseback riding instead of walking in nikes. This is why I love my walks, time to just let my imagination go.

Butterflies near our ceiling

Originally uploaded by kt40

"Why?" you might ask, our room use to be the girl's room, and I couldn't part with the butterflies when I laid down to go to sleep and saw that I had forgotten to move them.